Apparently I Was Supposed to Know How to Do All of This
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By Sara | Burnt Out Perfectionist
There is a very strange moment in adulthood when you realize nobody is coming to tell you what you're supposed to be doing.
There is no handbook.
No orientation.
No person who sits you down at 18 and says,
"Okay. Here's how to manage money, maintain a home, raise a child, have a career, maintain friendships, feed yourself properly, remember everyone's appointments, understand insurance, keep your car alive, plan vacations, schedule dentist appointments, and somehow remember to thaw the chicken."
You just...
Become an adult.
And apparently you're supposed to know how to do all of it.
I don't.
And at this point, I'm starting to suspect nobody does.
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I Thought There Would Be a Moment
( like Kelly Clarkson Sang about)
I genuinely thought there would be a point where I would suddenly feel like a proper adult.
You know the feeling I'm talking about.
That moment where you wake up and think:
"Ah. Yes. I understand life now."
I am still waiting.
Instead, adulthood has mostly been a series of increasingly complicated things I have had to Google.
How often are you supposed to clean that?
Is this normal?
Why is my dishwasher doing that?
How much should I be saving?
When exactly am I supposed to rotate my tires?
What does this button on my furnace do?
Is this food still good?
How long does a passport last?
Why does the insurance company need that?
And perhaps the most important question of all:
What the hell are we making for dinner?
Again.
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Nobody Actually Knows What They're Doing
The older I get, the more I realize something slightly terrifying.
Most of the adults I thought had everything figured out were just...
figuring it out.
My parents.
Other parents.
People at work.
People who own homes.
People who have retirement accounts.
People who seem incredibly confident when they're talking about taxes.
They're all just making decisions with the information they have and hoping they aren't accidentally screwing something up.
Which is both comforting and deeply unsettling.
Because apparently there isn't a secret level of adulthood where someone hands you the manual.
We're all just out here clicking "I agree" on the terms and conditions of life without reading them.
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I Thought I'd Be Better at This by Now
I thought I'd have routines that actually stuck.
I thought I'd have figured out how to keep the house consistently clean instead of clean-ish, then suddenly what happened in here?
I thought I'd be better at managing money.
I thought I'd be better at meal planning.
I thought I'd know exactly what I want to do with my life.
I thought I'd stop second-guessing myself.
I thought I'd be more organized.
I thought I'd have figured out how to balance everything.
And I really thought I'd stop buying organizational products believing that this would finally be the thing that changed my life.
It never is.
But apparently I enjoy the fantasy.
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There Is Always Something You Don't Know
This is the part nobody really talks about.
You can become competent at something and immediately discover there are seventeen other things you don't understand.
You figure out how to manage one area of your life and another one catches fire.
You finally get your schedule under control and then school starts.
You finally get the house organized and someone needs something.
You finally feel like you've got your finances figured out and then your car makes a noise you've never heard before.
You finally feel like you're getting ahead and suddenly it's December.
How is it December?
I swear it was March five minutes ago.
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Maybe This Is What Adulthood Actually Is
Maybe adulthood isn't finally knowing what you're doing.
Maybe it's knowing who to ask when you don't.
Maybe it's being willing to Google the thing.
Maybe it's admitting you don't understand something instead of pretending you do.
Maybe it's learning as you go.
Maybe it's realizing that the people you thought had all the answers were probably just better at looking like they did.
And maybe that's okay.
Because I'm starting to think there's a difference between not knowing what you're doing and being incapable of figuring it out.
I don't know how to do everything.
I don't think I ever will.
But I've figured out a hell of a lot of things I didn't know how to do before.
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I'm Still Figuring It Out
I still don't have a five-year plan that makes perfect sense.
I still have days where I feel like I'm wildly underqualified for my own life.
I still Google things I feel like a functioning adult should absolutely know.
I still forget things.
I still make mistakes.
I still occasionally stand in the middle of my kitchen wondering what I walked in there for.
And honestly?
I think I'm finally okay with that.
Because maybe being an adult isn't about reaching some magical point where everything becomes easy.
Maybe it's about realizing that you're allowed to be a work in progress while still being a perfectly capable adult.
You can know a lot and still have questions.
You can be responsible and still need help.
You can have your shit together and still occasionally have absolutely no idea what you're doing.
Maybe we were never supposed to know how to do all of this.
Maybe we were just supposed to keep figuring it out.
One Google search, one mistake, one weird appliance noise, and one "what are we having for dinner?" at a time.
And honestly?
That's probably enough.
Are you also waiting for someone to hand you the adulting manual?
Tell me the thing you genuinely thought you'd have figured out by now.
Because I have a feeling I'm not the only one.
Sara is the co-host and producer of Burnt Out Perfectionist, a podcast about ADHD, burnout, and surviving adulthood with your sense of humour intact. New episodes every Monday at 6 AM PST. Find us at burntoutperfectionist.com or follow along on Instagram and Linktree.