Things I Thought I’d Have Figured Out by 25

(A non-exhaustive list brought to you by optimism and lies)

When I was younger, I genuinely believed that by 25 I would be settled. Grounded. Confidence. The kind of adult who owns matching towels and just knows things.

Instead, I’m 25+ and still learning everything the hard way, usually at 2 a.m., usually after Googling “is this normal.”

Here’s a list of things I was absolutely convinced I’d have figured out by now:

1. What I Want to Do With My Life

I thought I’d wake up one day and know. Like a career lightbulb would turn on and I’d be like, “Ah yes, this is my purpose.”

Instead, I rotate between:

• Wanting stability
  
• Wanting freedom
  
• Wanting to quit everything and start a small business with no business plan
  

ADHD really said, “Why choose one dream when you can have 17 at once?”

2. How Money Works (Like… Actually)

I assumed adulthood came with financial clarity. A deep understanding of savings, investing, and why everyone is obsessed with retirement.

What I have instead:

• Savings account with automatic deposits
  
• A budget that works beautifully in theory
  
• A toxic relationship with my bank app
  

Some days I feel financially responsible. Other days I’m shocked that groceries cost money every single week.

3. Cooking

I thought by now I’d be someone who cooks. You know, meals. From scratch. With intention.

Reality:

• I can cook when I’m hyperfocused
  
• I forget food exists when I’m not
  
• I own spices I have never emotionally connected with
  

Why does every recipe assume I have the energy to chop onions?

4. A Consistent Routine

Morning routine. Night routine. Workout routine. Skincare routine.

What I didn’t account for was burnout making routines feel like chores and ADHD making consistency feel like a personal attack.

I don’t have a routine. I have patterns. And even those are flexible.

5. Healing

I thought grief would have an end date. That eventually I’d be “done” with it and move on like a very resilient, well-adjusted adult.

Turns out, grief just… changes shape. And healing isn’t linear or aesthetic or something you complete before lunch.

You heal while living. While paying bills. While being tired. While still figuring things out.

6. Relationships

I truly believed I’d be married by now. Or at least in a very serious, very adult relationship.

Instead, I’ve learned:

• Emotional availability is rare
  
• Chemistry does not equal compatibility
  
• Being single isn’t a failure, it’s just a season
  

A very loud, reflective, sometimes peaceful season.

7. Confidence

I thought confidence came with age. That I’d stop questioning myself and feel secure in who I am.

What actually happened is I became more aware of everything I don’t know ,but also more comfortable admitting it.

And honestly? That feels like progress.

8. Adulthood

This is the big one.

I thought being an adult meant:

• Having it together
  
• Feeling caught up
  
• Knowing what comes next
  

But adulthood is really just doing your best with the tools you have, while constantly updating those tools.

I may not have everything figured out — but I have more compassion for myself than I did at 20. And that counts.

So no, I haven’t figured out life, money, routines, or the correct number of throw pillows a couch needs.

But I have figured out that figuring it out takes time.

And maybe that’s the thing I was supposed to learn by 25 all along.

Always Stay Warped and Twisted As Ever,

Eve